phairoh unleashed

For as long as I can remember, I have been deathly afraid of bees. I have no idea why. The only time I had ever been stung was one time when I was something like 2 years old, and the only reason I even remember that is because my parents told me about it many years later. Perhaps that one instance that early on in my life left an imprint on me somehow and as such I ended up with an unexplainable hatred towards bees. Regardless, I hate bees, and yesterday I found out why.

We went out to breakfast at this awesome place nearby that has the most ridiculous southern style breakfasts. Afterwards, we head back to the car. I asked Jeff to pull out so I could get in, since I have to open the door all the way to get my stupid foot in (which, with any luck, will be all fixed on Thursday! YAY!) and as I hobble into the car and sit back I feel what I think is a nail poking right into my back. This nail prick, which occurs so suddenly and painfully, begins to burn, and even though I hadn’t been stung in over 20 years I knew exactly what it was.

I jumped up very quickly in my seat, all the way so that I was almost climbing into the front seat. I screamed something like “shit, I just got stung!” though really I have no idea what exactly I said. I remember looking behind me and seeing the bee fly around as though nothing had happened. She was certainly in no hurry to get out from where I wanted to sit. I just stayed standing there, rubbing my back, my adrenaline pumping causing my hands and arms to shake uncontrollably. Doug, my savior, jumped out from his seat next to me, ran around to my side of the car and promptly killed the demonic beast by squishing her against the side window. Leighan was kind enough to check to see if the stinger was stuck in my back (she is a nurse, afterall) which we decided it was not, so likely it was not a bee at all but a yellow jacket or some other evil creature.

So, there was me facing my fear… sort of. I wonder how I will act now when I next see a bee close up. Will I still be frightened? I mean, yes, it hurt, but it certainly wasn’t unmaginable pain the way I had always envisioned it being. And yet, nothing has really changed. I’m sure if I hear the buzzing I’ll still flinch. I’m sure that if I see a large flying bug I’ll still take a few steps back (read: run screaming with arms flailing). I can only hope things will change, but they rarely do on their own unless I make it happen.